I'm fat

 

 Weight loss is a terribly difficult thing to reconcile in my mind.

On one side, I want to say fuck it and not give into the societal expectations that tell me I need to be skinny in order to be happy or find love and that I should enjoy my life and the sensations that come with it like food and not have to be ashamed of it.

But on the other side it’s extremely difficult to maintain a body positive image when I do in fact desire love which seems less likely to occur while I’m overweight and I do want to be healthy and know what it’s like to be a “skinny girl” and that sort of socially constructed image makes me ill but it’s there and I can’t ever make it go away.

Never too late.

 

Hello, hi and Assalamu'alaikum.

Hey, it's already 2013!! Rasa macam baru semalam eve tahun 2012. I never really think I could survive 2012 though seriously but hey, here I am, writing an entry about it. Alhamdulillah.

So I spent my new year's eve w Kakala. Yes, although I had some other plans on how to celebrate my new year's eve alone since my family went for a concert in Putrajaya but hey, a lifesaver came and, well, practically "saved my life"? Yeah so we went for a diner and le wild idea appeared while we were dining, "Jom pergi cari dessert tengah bandar" Okay so we went to the city. First time hokay celebrate new year dekat tengah bandar. Chaos gila. Taubat taknak p dah. End up balik tanpa dessert. Sedih kan? Sedih. Okay.

So anyways, salam tahun baru. Bismillahirrahmanurrahim.

P/s: Andai ada hati yang terguris, andai kata-kata terlalu kesat, ampun dan maaf ku mohon. Assalamu'alaikum.

Officially Yours

 

We have been together for half a year now. It hasn’t been easy, but through each struggle we have become stronger. I have finally found my second half. I finally have my best friend, my world, my everything. I love you Muhammad Fadhlul Hadi bin Rafiz, and I hope you would be my last love story. 

You're the one that I love. The one that makes me happy. The one that understand me. The one that is there for me. The one that I left. The one that I have dropped! The one who waited for me. You’re the right one! You’re mine. FUCKING MINE!! I love you. 

 P/s: I hope I'm good enough for you.